Page 9 - Stan Frank Diaries

Issued with a prismatic compass. We are reliably informed by McGuiness that it’s filled with
Isopropyl Alcohol. Nobody gives a shit.
We are taught Magnetic Deviation. Taff Evans thinks deviation has other connotations where
he comes from. My group intend to deviate to the nearest boozer if we get the chance.
Wheeler got lost when the mist closed in. Unfortunately not lost enough.

April 27th
We were split into groups for Orienteering. Spent most of the day wandering around a very
wet Wales dis-orienteering.
6 am Had to carry out ablutions in river water. Robbo got shat on for not shaving. I didn’t
shave either but my bum fluff doesn’t show.

April 29th
Back to Camp routine. Parade. Drill. Education. NAAFI break. Trade training.
Lunch.
Watched Bootsie and Snudge.

April 30th
Hitch hiked to London with Robbo. Hitching is a piece of piss if you wear your SDs. Found a
boozer in Knights Bridge that would actually serve us. Got talking to a one-legged Chelsea
Pensioner. He’d been wounded at Gallipoli. Me and Robbo didn’t know where Gallipoli was.
I’m not sure the Pensioner did either.

May 2nd
Told we have to sit the Senior Test. We are given past papers to revise.
They appear to be intended for morons. I guess the average Junior Leader might struggle -
bloody knuckle draggers.

May 3rd
Letter from home. Uncle Ron has moved out. I told Mum not to worry coz he was a prick.

May 4th
Post arrived. Uncle Ron has moved back in. Apparently he wants a word with me.

May 5th 59D2SL
The evenings are getting lighter. Boggy (8 Div) organised a mass game of footy on the
square. It ended up about 150 either side. There were no rules except - make your own way to
the MRS.
Footy in C Coy is dominated by the Geordies. If you are from anywhere else you’ve no
chance. I tried faking a Geordie accent but still wasn’t selected. I guess it helps if you can
play.

Kit inspection 2000 hrs. The bullshit never ends.

May 6th
Double Maths Education Block 1400 hrs.
Not quite sure when, if ever, I’ll have to factorise a Quadratic Equation again, but who am I
to question the powers that be.