Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Whilst demolishing a large building at the far end of the square in an area that once was AAS Arborfield, industrial archaeologists recently discovered a diary. Apparently the work of Stan Frank, it is thought to have been written in the late 50s or early 60s. The diary chronicles his time in a building he referred to as Jeepland, thought perhaps to be where the army stored their motor vehicles - particularly Jeeps.
From what we can gather Stan Franks appears to have been incarcerated or confined to the building or its environs for some three years. The diary has been passed to the Imperial War Museum Duxford who have plans for possible publication. However, although the account was written in English, after consulting some of the finest etymologists at nearby Cambridge University and even some of the finest code-breakers at GCHQ, the museum are unable to decipher an number of apparently nonsensical sentences. Therefore they have turned to social media for help.
If anyone can shed some light upon any of the following, it would be much appreciated.

‘Free Sunday, flopped on me pit for a kip.’
‘Jipped my first jeep today - grovel.’
‘Picked up me Dobie but the twats had lost me drawers cellular.’
‘Bumpered me bed space - goodly.’
‘Blancoed me gaiters.’
‘Got jankers for being a necky little f*cker.’ (the expletive has been redacted)
‘Some b*stard has nicked me housewife.’ (as above)
‘Shat on coz me top-kit was manky.’
‘Sports afternoon ….. bunked off for some serious blanket pressing.’
‘Ironed away the pimples on me new DMS‘s.’
‘Dropped me eating irons in the washing-up trough.’
‘Put me credits in me POSB.’
‘Beezed me chinstrap…. Boring.’
‘Done for slashing me peak.’
‘Off to the Brams for a bevy.’
‘Got sent to the NAAFI by 9 Div for some beezing rings.’
‘Was issued with new brown gym shoes. Had to black Kiwi them or get
beasted by Digger Diamond.’

The following graffiti was found on what we believe was originally a toilet wall.
29 D 2 XMAS L. It is thought to be a coded message. However, our local scholars remain at a loss and have passed the text it to GCHQ for further examination. Such messages could be a threat to National Security.

Any help you can provide will be much appreciated.

The Featured Bards